Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
