I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
