I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize
