Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
