lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
