there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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