I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
