sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
