You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
