i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
