you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
