I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Please, let me fuck your mom
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
