Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
