Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
