just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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