I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
