Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
