we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
