Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
