Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
