As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
