What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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