I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
