I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
