we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
