i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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