Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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