He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Fuck appropriateness.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
