Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
