i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
