Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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