please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
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