how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
