He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
