Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
