oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
