I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
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