Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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