I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
