you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
