just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
