He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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