She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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