I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
