ya dads aren't the best wingmen
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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