I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
