Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
