nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
