I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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