just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
