worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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