Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
so let's talk penis.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
