I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
we should paint friendship bongs
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
