whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
