You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
