I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize