He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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