if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
