I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
