I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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